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For emergency please call 911 or go to nearest emergency room.
Probation Opportunity Programs, Latent Impulsive Thinking (Syndrome), ASATEAM, steveizenstark.com, & Consciously Pause, et al. UCSB #12665 Santa Barbara, CA 93107 firstname.lastname@example.org
Toll Free: (800) 340-1922 Los Angeles: (818 )876-8667 Santa Barbara: (805) 392-5229 Fax: (760) 980-1760
Your phone call is important to us. Please do not hesitate to contact us with any requests or questions. We attempt to immediately identify all calls by looking at the caller ID, as they come in, resulting in a more knowledgeable decision whether to answer or send the call to voicemail. Voicemail will not tell you to please listen carefully because our menu options have changed. We have only the same two options as always, leave a message at the beep, or just hang up. If a message is left, we usually return the call between a few minutes and never, as we have already checked to see who it is.
You will not be asked to take a survey. If there are issues in our line of work, that is predominately when we would need and want to talk with you as soon as possible. We also do not take surveys due to our grave concerns about what your answers could possibly be in regard to us. So, no, wait, no, definitely no surveys, We do not record your call for training purposes. If we needed to record the answering of a phone for training purposes, we would feel the need to immediately change our hiring and multiple other business practices before the phone rang again. Studies have been made and doctors are mistaking umbilical cords for the iPhone chargers of newborns who have been texting during their last trimester. Science will probably soon find a cell phone answering gene. It'll be by accident, while they are looking for that darn evasive alcoholic gene.
Please be considerate when determining if you are going to make a call, use the form attached, or send a fax. We cannot give out any information without prior releases in regard to other people. In addition, with the exception of Steve, we are unaware of how the Kardashians, Charlie, or any housewives are doing. By confidentiality, we could not tell you if we knew anyway. We are insured, are not at this time thinking of switching internet providers or upgrading our current one. We have had these phone numbers for years and are not the person you are trying to collect a debt from. We are not thinking of selling or reverse mortgaging our homes. And positively, we are not sending out any more of Steve's money or personal information to any foreign dignitaries ever again. That was a costly lesson. Well, not for us. But we were very disappointed not to meet Prince. He has some good songs.
We do not answer initially blocked, less than 7 numbers, or "unknown" listed on caller ID. Unless it's a personal call for one of the staff. If it is a personal call from a blocked phone, let it ring once, hang up and call right back. Don't tell a lot of people.
And oh yeah, please do not hesitate to contact us with any requests or questions. Your phone call is important to us.
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